Stress Management: Tips on How to Cope

Stress Management

Tips on how to Cope When Life Won’t Slow Down (A Girlfriend Guru Heart-to-Heart)

If you’ve been typing “stress management” into Google at 2 am with a bowl of cereal you didn’t really want… then friend, this is for you. Find your comfiest chair, wrap a soft throw around your shoulders (no throw? Grab the duvet from your bed) and make sure you have a favourite drink in your hand. And know that you’re not alone — honestly, if stress were a sport, most women would be Olympic-level by now.

Life is so full-on these days — work demands, money worries, relationships that need tending, children who seem to communicate solely through eye rolls, parents who require patience you’re not sure you even have anymore… and that’s before you even think about your own wellbeing.

So today, let’s sit down like two friends, one a little older but not always the wiser. Let’s wrap our hands around warm mugs (these are times I have to confess I would love a glass of a nice fruity wine!) Although it can help for a short time, it doesn’t help in the long term, and could actually make things worse. So, keep your hands around the lovely comforting mug, and breathe for a moment, and then we’ll talk about real-life stress management. This kind actually works for women who don’t live inside a perfectly curated magazine spread.

I’ll tell you what I’ve learned over many decades of being alive, observing people, loving people, worrying about people, and occasionally wanting to throttle people — gently, of course.

Let’s Start With the Truth: You’re Not Meant to Handle Everything Alone

Women often feel we must:

• Hold everything together

• stay calm

• stay organised

• smile politely

• Don’t make a fuss

• Cope like superheroes

And, friend… I’m sorry to say this, but superheroes don’t exist.
Just women who are exhausted and too scared to say, “This is too much.”

One of the biggest mistakes we make is believing that requiring Stress Management is somehow a personal failure — as if being overwhelmed means you’re weak or unprepared. But stress doesn’t mean you’re falling apart. It means life is asking more of you than one human being can deliver.

Stress happens when your mind, body, or heart whispers, “I need help, I can’t do this anymore”, and life shouts back, “Too bad, here’s more.”

So let’s start from a place of compassion:
You’re doing far better than you think.

The Morning Spiral: When Stress Starts Before You Even Get Out of Bed

Have you ever woken up already tense?
You haven’t even moved yet, but somehow your brain is already sprinting:

“Oh no, I forgot to send that email… I’ve got to sort dinner… we’re out of milk… what WAS that noise the boiler made last night?… why is my heart racing already?… I’m so behind…”

This is called anticipatory stress — your mind imagining problems before they exist.
Think of it like your inner alarm system going off without being triggered.

Here’s a little trick I use in my stress management, which may help you too.

When you open your eyes, don’t rush out of bed.
Just place your hand on your chest (right over your heart), breathe in slowly, and gently tell yourself: “I’m safe. I’m okay. The day hasn’t even begun yet, and I’m allowed to ease into it.”

It sounds simple — maybe even daft — but it works because it interrupts the panic before it can gather momentum.

Now Let’s Tackle the Big Culprit: Decision Fatigue

One of the biggest causes of stress?
Too many tiny decisions.

What should I wear?
What’s for dinner?
Should I reply to that text now or later?
Do you know if I have time to wash my hair?
Where did I put my keys? (This one gets us all.)

Your brain is doing SO much more than you realise — and every small choice adds weight.

So here’s a simple trick:
Reduce the decisions you don’t need to make.

For example:

• Pick your outfit the night before (yes, even pyjamas count).

• Have three “go-to” meals for stressful days. These can be whatever you want – homecooked and frozen, or just a frozen meal directly from the Super Market. This not the time to worry about your carbs intake.

• Keep your handbag in the same spot (I know… easier said than done).

• Let Monday be jacket potato night. Add any leftovers and prinkle with cheese and cooke with the potatoe.

• Keep your skincare simple: cleanse, moisturise, done. This can seem like a heavyweight chore when feeling exhausted, but if you can manage it most nights it becomes a small self-care habit, that you deserve.

This isn’t about strict routines.
It’s about saving your precious brain capacity for things that are causing your stress.

When Stress Hits Like a Wave: Try the “One Gentle Thing” Rule

Sometimes stress doesn’t drip in — it pounds in, just like tsunami.
A reminder for a forgotten bill.
Unexpected and hurtful comment from someone you care about.
A message that makes your stomach drop, as if you’re in a lift.
Your teen is slamming the door for the eighth time today.

In those moments, you don’t need a complicated coping technique.
You need one gentle thing.

Ask yourself:

“What is ONE gentle thing I can do for myself right now?”

Maybe it’s:

• making a warm drink

• seeking stress managent help

• stepping outside for 3 minutes, even if it’s raining.

• having a cry (absolutely allowed) don’t hold back. Crying is a cathartic release.

• sitting on the floor with your back against the sofa

• washing your hands in warm water

• cuddling your pet

• putting on soft music

• Telling someone, “I’m struggling today”

One gentle thing is enough.
You don’t need ten.

The Stress Management and Emotional Overload

Stress isn’t always about tasks.
Sometimes it’s emotional.

Maybe you’re carrying:

• disappointment

• loneliness

• resentment

• fear

• shame

• exhaustion

• not feeling appreciated

This kind of stress is quiet but heavy — like walking around with a rucksack full of bricks.

One of the gentlest ways to manage emotional stress is this:

Name it.
Could you say it out loud?
Could you write it down?
Or whisper it into your pillow.

When you name it, it loses its power.
Instead of a fog of feelings, you have something you can work with:

“I feel unappreciated.”
“I feel scared about money.”
“I feel stretched thin.”
“I feel lonely, even when I’m not alone.”

Naming is the beginning of healing.

How Stress Affects Your Body (And Why You’re Not Imagining It)

Stress doesn’t just live in your mind — it lives in your muscles, your stomach, your breathing, your sleep.

Here are some signs stress is showing up physically:

• tight chest

• aching shoulders

• clenching your jaw

• stomach discomfort

• headaches

• feeling foggy

• forgetting things

• snapping easily

Your body isn’t betraying you — it’s trying to tell you something.
It’s saying:
“I need comfort, not criticism.”

When you feel it physically, try a tiny reset:

• Unclench your jaw

• Relax your shoulders

• Take a slower breath.

• Roll your neck gently.

• sip water

• Could you take one longer exhale?

• Make three loud sobs – this works wonders for me, and is another cathartic potential remedy. It helps to let go!

Your body will thank you.

Stress Management and Women: The Invisible Mental Load

Ah, yes, the infamous mental load.
The constant running commentary in your head:

“We need milk.”
“His school trip form is due.”
“Mum needs a check-in call.”
“That lightbulb still isn’t changed.”
“I haven’t replied to that email.”
“Did I pay that bill?”

Men worry too — but women often carry the emotional labour for everyone.
We are the worriers, the rememberers, the planners, the keepers of everything no one else notices until it’s gone.

Dear friend… It’s not you.
It’s the weight of everything.

And no one can carry that constantly without feeling frayed at the edges.

A Little Example: The “Coat on the Floor” Moment

Ever snapped over something tiny?
A coat on the floor.
A dirty cup was left out.
A homework assignment was forgotten.

It’s not the coat.
It’s not the cup.
It’s not the homework.

It’s the thousand things that came before it.
The coat was just the final straw.

If that sounds familiar…
You’re normal.
You’re human.
You’re tired.

And you deserve support, not guilt.

Let’s Talk About Stress Management Help — You Deserve It

Asking for help is not a weakness. In fact it takes a brave person to admit they’re struggling.
It becomes restoration.

Tell your partner, your teen, your friend:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed — could you take this off my plate?”

Or even:
“Could you just sit with me for a moment?”

Help doesn’t have to fix anything.
It just needs to lighten something.

You may be surprised how much your ‘loved-ones’ have wanted to help you.

Final Thought: You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Stress doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re human, with a human-sized heart, trying to carry a life that sometimes feels too big.

And friend…
You are not alone.
Neither are not behind.
And you’re not weak. You are strong.

You are doing your best — and your best is enough.

Now finish your drink, take a breath, and remember:
Stress may visit, but it doesn’t get to stay.