Are ‘Good’ Relationships Better Than Perfect Ones
(A Girlfriend Guru Heart-to-Heart)”
If you’ve been searching for answers about relationships because things feel confusing — or emotional — or downright exhausting…
Well, friend, sit with me for a minute.
Let’s talk honestly, the way two women do when one is frustrated, and the other has lived long enough to say, with complete confidence:
“There is no such thing as a perfect relationship — but there are plenty of good ones, and good is more than enough.”
Whether we’re talking about romantic partners, friendships, your parents, or those delightful-but-occasionally-possessed teenagers… relationships can bring the greatest joy and the deepest stress.
Real life isn’t Hollywood, Instagram, or a romance novel.
Real-life relationships are beautifully messy, complicated, tender, frustrating, and sometimes downright ridiculous.
And that’s okay.
Let’s walk through this gently, together.
The Myth of the Good Relatiomship v Perfect Relationship
We grow up believing in “the one,” in magical communication, effortless connection, and a partner who instinctively knows what we’re thinking without us saying a word.
Lovely… that’s either fiction or witchcraft.
Real relationships require three things:
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Good communication
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Patience and empathy
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Consistant effort
That’s it. No aiming fo perfection, or mind-reading, and defonatley no endless romance
Just two humans wanting to do their best.
A good-enough relationship is one where both partners:
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Feel safe
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There’s no BS
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You both take to listen to each other
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Feel valued and respected
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Arguments are not allowed to destroy the foundation
It isn’t drama-free, but it is stable.
Romantic Partners: Choose Consistency Over Intensity
We’ve all had that butterfly feeling.
It’s delicious.
But butterflies are unreliable — they disappear at the first sign of real life.
Consistency is what matters:
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the partner who texts, “Home soon, want anything?”
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the person who notices when you’re quiet
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the one who picks up milk without being asked
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the one who turns up, even when they’re tired
That’s love.
Not fireworks — but a steady flame.
Now, does consistency mean boring?
Absolutely not.
It means safe enough to flourish.
And in a world where life throws curveballs daily, safety is GOOD!
Arguments Happen Within Relationships — They Don’t Mean Disaster
Every couple argues.
Every. Single. One.
If a couple says they never argue, they’re either lying or silently resenting each other.
What matters isn’t whether you argue — it’s how you argue.
Every woman needs to hear this:
The right person wants to solve the problem with you, not win against you.
Healthy conflict sounds like:
“I didn’t understand that — can we talk it through?”
“That hurt my feelings a bit, can I tell you why?”
“I want us to feel closer again — what do you need?”
Unhealthy conflict sounds like:
“Whatever.”
“and you always.”
“You never…”
Or the dreaded silent treatment, which fixes nothing and breeds everything.
Friendships: The Quiet Lifeline You Might Be Neglecting
Friends are the love stories we don’t talk about enough.
They hold us up, laugh with us, talk nonsense with us, and listen when we fall apart.
But adult friendships are hard.
Schedules clash.
Families demand attention.
Life gets busy.
And sometimes friendships fade simply because no one made the first move.
Friend… don’t be afraid to be the one text first.
People aren’t distant because they don’t care — most of the time they’re overwhelmed, just like you.
Say:
“Tea this week?”
“I miss you.”
“You popped into my head today — how are you doing?”
Friendship doesn’t require grand gestures.
It requires presence.
Friend Breakups Hurt (Sometimes More Than Romantic Ones)
Let’s talk about this quietly, because women don’t say it enough:
Friendship heartbreak is real, deep, and often harder to heal than romantic heartbreak.
When a friend drifts away, or you realise you’ve outgrown each other, it can feel like losing a part of yourself.
If this happened to you, please hear this:
You didn’t fail.
No, you didn’t imagine the closeness.
Neither did you do anything wrong.
Some friendships are chapters, not lifelong contracts.
And that’s okay.
Parents: The Complicated Bond
Parents mean well (usually), but they’re human — flawed, emotional, opinionated, stubborn, and occasionally maddening.
As we grow older, we realise:
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That they won’t always understand us.
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They see us as who we were, not always who we are.
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Often they worry too much.
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They can be unintentionally hurtful.
But they also love deeply, miss us when we’re distant, and hold memories of us no one else has.
You don’t need a perfect relationship with your parents.
You need one where you feel respected.
It’s okay to say:
“Mum, I appreciate you, but that comment stung.”
or
“I need space right now, but I still love you.”
Adult relationships with parents require softness and boundaries — in equal measure.
Teenagers: The Emotional Rollercoaster You Didn’t Sign Up For
Ah yes… teenagers.
Hormones in human form.
Chaos in a hoodie.
Emotions on roller skates.
Teenagers will:
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slam doors
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roll their eyes so hard it’s a miracle they don’t fall over
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treat you like a nuisance
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say hurtful things
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forget everything you’ve ever told them
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need you more than ever
Underneath the bravado and mood swings is a child who is scared of growing up and desperate to be understood.
What they secretly crave is:
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reassurance
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safety
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boundaries
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someone who stays calm when they storm
When your teen is shouting, the best thing you can say is:
“I’m here. I love you. We’ll talk when we’re both calm.”
Believe me… it works.
Not immediately — but it plants seeds.
You Can’t Fix People — You Can Only Love Them (Without Losing Yourself)
This one may sting, my friend, but here it is:
It is not your job to fix anyone.
Not your partner.
Nor your friends.
And not your parents.
Certainly not your Teen
Loving someone doesn’t mean solving their life.
It means standing beside them while they learn to navigate it.
And the most important relationship of all…
the one you have with yourself…
deserves that same patience.
✨ Final Thought: Love Isn’t Perfect — It’s Practice
Relationships aren’t meant to be flawless.
They’re meant to be lived in.
The best ones feel like this:
Safe.
Honest.
Warm.
Comfortable.
Forgiving.
Human.
Not perfect — just good enough.
And lovely… good enough is beautiful.
Did you know, that practicing Gratitude can help boost your wellbeing? It is a scientific fact. Read the blog for some helpful tips & tricks to help boost yours! Read here.